Jess Parson - Balancing Family, Fitness and Nature

In this episode of Nurture with Nature, host Iona Andean introduces Jess Parson, a pre and post-natal fitness trainer who shares her inspiring journey of balancing family life, fitness, and a shocking medical diagnosis. Sponsored by Out 'n' About, the conversation explores Jess's love for outdoor activities, her approach to family adventures, and the mental and physical health benefits of spending time in nature. Jess discusses her passion for helping mothers incorporate exercise into their lives and the importance of slowing down to appreciate life's small moments. Follow Jess on Instagram @bumpsbairnsandbuggies for more inspiration.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Out 'n' About

Follow host Iona Andean on Instagram @iona.adventuring to keep in touch and hear about upcoming episodes

00:00 Welcome to Nurture with Nature
01:05 Introducing This Week's Guest: Jess Parson
03:36 Jess's Journey to Outdoor Adventures
06:11 Balancing Family Life and Outdoor Activities
10:02 Transitioning Careers for a Balanced Life
17:42 The Importance of Mental Health and Exercise
25:27 Managing Outdoor Activities with Kids
33:52 Creative Play with Simple Materials
34:06 Encouraging Imagination and Independence
34:37 Sponsor Message: Out and About
35:17 Mental Health Benefits of Outdoor Activities
40:24 Personal Story: Health Challenges and Outdoor Impact
54:00 The Importance of Slowing Down
58:19 Conclusion and Future Plans

Transcript

Iona: 0:01

Hello and welcome to Nurture with Nature with me, your host, Iona Andean. This is the show that aims to help encourage and inspire you to seek out the many physical and mental health benefits of time outdoors, truly nurturing yourself with nature This episode's sponsor is Out and About, an iconic British brand developed by frustrated parents faced with the challenge of finding a buggy that could keep up with an outdoorsy lifestyle. The brand's mission is to enable families who love spending time outside, journey anywhere, together, by providing all terrain buggies centred around practicality, easy maintenance and durability with a lightweight design. Out and About firmly believe that encouraging children to be active from a young age is essential for fostering healthy bodies and minds. Something that I'm sure we can all agree plays such an important part in raising little ones.

Speaker 2: 1:05

this week's guest is someone I admire greatly, not only for her outdoor inspiration as a mother, but for her ability to adapt and overcome, radiating such a positive outlook on life. Jess Parson is a self employed pre and post natal fitness trainer running exercise classes for mums and babies, both in person and online. She prioritises educating women about taking care of your body. Jess is passionate about encouraging movement you love for the mind and body and believes you can still do the things you enjoy when you become a mum, even if that means it looks a little different. Jess is known on Instagram as@bumpsbairnsandbuggies, where she shares a wealth of inspiration from fitness to time in nature with her children. As a wife and a mum of three, running her own business, you could assume that life is chaotic and busy for Jess, but she's an advocate for finding small moments of joy in each day and focusing on the positives, regardless of how small. She's a lover of family adventures, big and small, from local nature walks to inter railing around Europe as a family of five for three weeks! Jess has a strong sporting history, having competed for Wales in athletics and for the Great Britain age group team in the World Duathlon Championships. She won the Braveheart Triathlon in 2019 when her eldest was just two years old, and in the same year she also ran the London Marathon. In 2021, Jess went on to complete an ultramarathon and it seemed there was no stopping her until she received a shocking diagnosis. From being the perfect picture of health to being told her heart function was severely impaired, Jess was faced with some devastating life decisions. In this conversation we chat about how truly grateful Jess is for the small moments in life and for spending time in nature with her family and the impact this has on her and her children's mental health. Our conversation really does show that you never truly know what life has in store for any of us. I think you'll find Jess's enthusiasm and passion for finding joy in everyday moments really heartwarming, and I hope it'll help you reflect on your own priorities in life. As always, if you enjoy listening and know someone else who would love this, then please do send it their way. Let's help more people connect with the outdoors because we could all do with a little more time feeling nurtured with nature. Okay, here it is then. Enjoy the show

Iona: 3:36

we're sitting here in your gorgeous garden cabin. This is great.

Jess: 3:41

I know, it's very cozy.

Iona: 3:42

What a great space. And a really good view out over the trees as well. It's really nice. Thank you so much for having me here. Thank you for having me. Let's start with how the outdoors adventure, being active, became part of your life. Where did that come from? Um.

Jess: 3:58

So, I've probably been active most of my life, uh, even as a small child, I think I started running probably at the age of six or seven, um, and was kind of competing not long afterwards competed in athletics for maybe, um, 10 years, 12 years. So I guess I was always active in that way, but kind of did netball and tennis and did a bit of everything. And then obviously I just settled onto running. Um, as a family, when I was growing up, we did kind of camping holidays, but we didn't necessarily spend our weekends out in nature or Yeah, as a family I think we split quite a bit actually in the sense of when you have a sibling if they're doing something and you're doing something we kind of segregated with our parents and we, I went off with my mum and my sister went off with my dad but for holidays we came together and then it was kind of outdoorsy holidays. I do remember that and we would play tennis and just running around going on our bikes and so I think we've always been an outdoor family Um, but not as much as we are now. I don't think I appreciated nature as much as I do now. And I grew up in Wales, and uh, looking back now, I really wish I'd spent more time in the mountains and the hills. So, I grew up somewhere that was like that, but I don't think I appreciated Quite how good it was and the advantages of being out. I was a roadrunner until I came here and then my husband was like, you need to hit the trails. I was like, no, don't be daft. I need to be on the road. You need to be running fast. And he was like, just come and see. And so we went on a trail run and I don't think I ever enjoyed road running afterwards. I think I was converted and I loved being in the hills and on the trails and Where we live is perfect for that. We've got trails on the doorstep. Um, so I think that was when I really kind of started to understand how beautiful nature could be and just being active outside. So that would have been nine, ten years ago. And we spent a lot of weekends cycling, running, walking, Just everywhere really,

Iona: 6:11

so let's talk about family life. You've got three kids.

Jess: 6:14

three kids. Yes, it's busy.

Iona: 6:17

What ages are they?

Jess: 6:18

Finn is seven and a half. Millie is coming up three and a half. And Rosie is coming up 18

Iona: 6:26

And how does the outdoors and nature fit into family life? You're obviously, you live out in the countryside, so that's You step out your door, and that's what the kids get every single day. Yes. But how do you, how do you factor it into your life?

Jess: 6:44

Basically is our life, I think. So because of where we live, they can just go out over the wall and into the field. And so if we don't want to go very far, we're very fortunate that we can go over the wall, walk down through the fields and get to a little stream. Our favorite thing to do this year was go and watch the tadpoles and see how they got bigger and that was our Saturday and it didn't have to be complicated and we took a camping stove down into the field and we made some bacon sandwiches and had picnics and it, yeah, not it sounds cliche but that's our slow weekend. You know there are weekends where it's busier but that's often we're out in nature we're just a bit further away from home you know or it's been a longer walk but I would say most of our weekends are factored around where are we going to go and explore outside. And I don't think we force that upon the kids. Um, They, at the weekends, yeah, We just open the door and, and off they go. And we try not to rush around. So it's just, it's our life. There's no other way of really putting it other than being outdoors and active. just the way we do things. And it, it won't be the same for every family. It won't be as accessible as for every family, but even if you just go to the park or if you just go for a, the local forest or the beach or whatever, they'll, they love it. And sometimes the thought of getting out is a little bit harder. Um, you know, it's a lot to pack up sometimes, but you get better at it. The more you do it. I mean, we could go off on

Iona: 8:17

a tangent

Jess: 8:18

of, walks for children and how they don't always go to plan that's There have been a lot of walks that haven't gone to plan and yes, I probably do get grumpy if I'm honest. Sometimes, you know, you have a plan in your head and when they're not it. a bit frustrating, but that's that's got better over time. I've definitely, over the years, I mean years, it doesn't just change overnight. And learning to see it from their point of view. So if they want to take 10 minutes over looking at a dandelion, let's take 10 minutes over looking at a dandelion because, you know, who are we to rush them along? So I always say, if you want to go out for a, for a walk and enjoy it, don't have a timescale. Don't think we need to be back to get to X because the minute you set off, you're going to be watching and then it's going to kind of alter how you approach that walk. I know I've gone off on a tangent now, I'm sorry.

Iona: 9:12

No, I think that's a really good point. I think that'll resonate with a lot of people because you, I mean, you mentioned it there. Sometimes just getting out the door can feel like the hardest part. And once you're there, it's a little bit more manageable. But I love the point that you've made about if you're clock watching.

Jess: 9:29

Yeah,

Iona: 9:30

worrisome. It's so, yeah. It's stressful for you. Yeah. Which then transfers onto the kids. You're

Jess: 9:35

hurrying them along and they're like, but I really want to look at this. You're like, yeah, I know what we need to get to X or so just, I think planning the walks carefully. If you have got a time scale to get back to you, think about where you're going to go. Maybe do just go to the park or just go, right, we're going to walk out and then we're just going to turn around and come back or yeah, just think about it. I do tend to plan a little bit more in that sense. Um, and I feel like that takes the pressure off and it's more enjoyable. for Everybody

Iona: 10:02

did you have this mindset when you had your first, or is it something that's developed over time and

Jess: 10:07

developed over

Iona: 10:08

figured it out? think

Jess: 10:11

the slowing down, I think we were before COVID, we rushed around way too much trying to cram in everything to our weekends. And even going back to, I was a teacher when Finn was born for 18 months, and I'd be working, you know, let's say three or four days. I can't remember how many days I was working. I was maybe working five at one point. And so then you only had your weekend. And so you try and cram as much into your weekend and you get back on the treadmill again on a Monday morning and it would go all the way. And, um, I have always been open and honest about the impact that that had on family life, the impact it had on our marriage. It made the first 18 months of our marriage really quite hard work because it felt like we were either passing ships or I was grumpy because I was tired and I was trying to be the best teacher, the best mum, the best wife, the best person, and it was way too much. Um, and so we came to a point in our life where something had to change otherwise. I don't know what would have happened. I'd like to think we wouldn't have split up, but you know, you get her, you have those conversations of, is this, I didn't sign up for this. Um, this isn't fun. I'm not enjoying life right now. So we were in a fortunate position where I could give up work. So I gave up work with no plan. plan I was just going to go on a career break, spend some time with Finn. Um, cause he was at that great stage of 18 months and toddling around. And I always remember my first day. when I wasn't teaching and we went to Bennachie and I him running down of the trails and I was, I think I remember the post and just going, this is how I'm gonna spend my days and I couldn't be happier. Get upset about talking about it. So, quit, but I wasn't very good at being a stay at home mum and I needed something. So, I kind of then channelled into running and being fit and wanting to put something together for mums, so that's how this all kind of came about. Uh, so I trained as a Jog Scotland leader and set up a Friday volunteer running group in a park and that was, well, since, yeah, six years ago in May, just gone. Um, and it started off as that and that was all I did just on a Friday morning. It was great. No, it was more than great. It was amazing. I've met some of my best mum friends through that group. Um, and then I started And then they're like, Jess, there's nothing like this about, like, why don't you set up circuit classes or things like that. So that's how that over the next six months, I then trained as a pre and postnatal fitness trainer. And so in November 2018, I think it must have been, yep. Yeah. The first kind of class was run and yeah, it's just kind of gone from there and I keep having children. So I keep, I keep wanting to grow and do more than I have another child. So I can't, so I'm hoping in the next kind of couple of years it'll start to grow. But for me, my kids are still my, they're always our priorities, but I am so blessed that I get to spend I am so blessed that 99 percent of my time with them other than when I'm teaching. Um, and so the business can wait. And so now I run those. Um, indoor mums and babies classes. And I mean, we've got everything from four months old to four and a half, five and going off to school in one room with the mums exercising, the kids running around, sometimes eating snacks, sometimes wanting cuddles, but sometimes quite content while mum works out. And I personally love it. I get such a, like, I can be in such a kind of down mood in the morning and think, oh, I've got to go to work now and be The minute everyone starts arriving and we get going, I just, yeah, it's great. Um, and friendships that have been made through that group and you see them meeting up to go to the park or to go for a walk together and yeah, it's great. And so that changed our, that me giving up work again was another life changing, life changing But it was a life changing moment and we slowed. We started to slow down from that point because I wasn't constantly on a treadmill. So I had time in the day. Don't get me wrong. It didn't make motherhood any easier. There was still all the challenges of looking after a small child, but because I had one less stress removed, um, then it did make it more enjoyable. And I started to enjoy being a parent more. I don't think I really enjoyed The first 18 months as much as I'm now enjoying the first 18 months of Rosie or, and that sounds really bad, doesn't it? But I think Finn, won't remember that I was finding that really tough. You know, he just remembers mum from the point of when his memory kicks in at three or four when I was in a much better

Iona: 14:55

place. Maybe you look back on those first 18 months and feel like it was harder, it was a real struggle, more than it is now. But you made the change that you felt you needed to or that you wanted to. And it's scary. Like, you're

Jess: 15:13

you're dropping a, you're dropping a salary. You, you have to kind of really kind of think about how you're going to live your life. Now you haven't got two salaries coming in and is that possible? And yeah, you crunch the numbers and you do it all and you think, well, let's just give it a go and see what happens. It's scary to take that big change. But if that big change is possible, or that big leap is possible, Then I would always say go for it and just see what But taking that first step is the, is the hardest.

Iona: 15:44

And like you say, Finn's memories of those first 18 months that you found hard are not what he's going to remember. He is probably just creating these incredible core memories now of this outdoor life that you've created for the kids. I was more relaxed than that.

Jess: 16:03

I was less patient, I was probably snappy, I'm obviously more relaxed now and just, I feel like I've settled into who I am it out. My thirties, you figure it out in your thirties. Um, and yeah, various things have happened in life that have have also impacted how we approach our life and being very grateful for what we But

Iona: 16:26

spoken about so much there. I know,

Jess: 16:28

sorry.

Iona: 16:29

sorry. No, no, I was going to say it's so interesting. Yeah, yeah. And I was just thinking about how you've got to where you are, because obviously your background was in teaching. It was primary teaching, wasn't it? So, you obviously have that drive for education and supporting people. And that's now filtered into the pre and the postnatal training. But that's what it came about. I loved

Jess: 16:49

loved teaching, but it was the paperwork, it was the extra hours, it was, it was that side that I couldn't manage. I loved having the kids in the classroom, I loved coming up with ideas, and I love exercise and sport. So what do you do? You combine the two together and voila, I have a job, that I didn't know was gonna happen but it did, and. That works for me and so yeah, now I get the best of both worlds and I get to do the teaching sides and the outdoor play inside with my kids, but without the pressure of actually, I don't have to do it. We just do it because that's what we enjoy to do. So I feel like I've finally sussed things out. With the

Iona: 17:30

And with the pre and postnatal training and the classes that you offer, is that where you feel your passion lies in supporting and helping people to exercise with their kids? Or are you also passionate about people making time for themselves to be active, to be outdoors? think probably, yeah I

Jess: 17:53

think probably both. I think initially I started, I wanted to train up because of the lack of information that was out there about returning to exercise after having a baby. So I mean, that could be a whole other podcast episode. Um, and you know, the whole six week check, you're good to go. I did that. I was running at five weeks, maybe six weeks and yeah, it wasn't ending well, but I thought I just had a baby. You know, I didn't know half well I didn't know anything to be honest, seven years ago. Um, just read what you read online or take the doctor's word for it and off you go. So, so a big part of the classes was making sure that mums were returning back into exercise safely in that postnatal period. So it was the physical side of returning to exercise. physical side, sorry, of returning to exercise, but also the mental health side of returning to exercise. And again, for me, when I was running through my teens and probably into my twenties, it was purely physical. It was either to get faster, to represent my country, to win medals. It I don't really ever remember really ever remember about it being about my mental health. I just did it. And to be honest, it was because of my mental health. I probably gave up because I couldn't cope with the pressure of having to always be fast or that expectation to win or something. So I said, I'm out. You I'm not going to make an excellent runner here or an excellent sports person. So I don't have the mentality to deal with that. So I, Quit, rebelled, didn't do anything, and then I've come back into it, and now it's all about the mental health. Yes, I've had periods of time where I was competitive again, but always in environments where it was, There wasn't pressure from anybody else. Any pressure was just on me, that I put on myself. But, it was nice to be competitive, but since things have happened in life, I now run purely for mental health, and just because it makes you feel better. Being outside, but that doesn't have to be running. I think just being outside in general, if we're having a really hard day at home, like, let's get out. But let's get out for 10 minutes and just try to get out for 10 minutes and guaranteed 99 percent of the time you'll be out for half an hour, an hour, and you'll feel so much better when you come in. Sometimes you only manage 10 minutes, but you still feel better when you come back in. But if you set that expectation of let's just get out in the garden for.10 minutes. you know, or let's just walk down the road for 10 minutes, or let's go and spot some cars for 10 minutes. You know, it doesn't have to be a big, a big thing. And if you start off with 10 minutes, you often do longer. Um, and sometimes you only need 10 minutes and you're still ready to come back in. Um, so now being out and being active is mental health. And so with my classes, you'll never hear me talk about get back to fitness for weight loss. I don't think I've ever mentioned that. There's a lot of talk of cake in my class, but there's the eating cake, not the avoiding cake. Um, it's about how it makes you feel and that positive role model you'll be in to your children about being active and how you're looking after yourself. And it definitely rubs it off. Like, you don't see it when they're six months old or twelve months or eighteen months old. You see it when they're, They're Finn's age, or even Millie's age now, and she got some new mountain boots from Mountain Warehouse. and she was like, I want to walk up a mountain. I can walk up that hill in my mountain boots. And so it comes, and it's moments like that I when you think, Okay, all those times that we've gone out, and yeah, they've dragged their heels sometimes, or it's hard work, or they have actually had a great time. Because they do have a great time Most of the time It pays off later in life. It's like, then what do you want to do? I want to go for a cycle. Great. They do turn around and say, can we go to the cinema? And yeah, absolutely. Let's go that. But the weekend, can we go for a bike ride together? Or, yeah, can we go for a run? And so, it, what you're doing now is shaping how potentially view exercise, how they view the outdoors, um, I think that's quite impactful. So that's my goal or my aim of the classes is it's not come here to lose your baby weight. I'm not going to, and still a lot of the moms will write on the forms. Why do you want to come to shift the baby weight? And you know, I'm not going to take that away from anybody because for for people that's a really important thing, but I'm not going to talk about that at my classes. I'm talking about. It's going to, you're going to leave here feeling great and it's going to give you that endorphin boost that you're looking for, as well as everything else and and connecting with people who also want to do that. Um, So that's, the, that's the goal of the class. and yeah, the little, seeing the little kids join in is sweet too.

Iona: 23:00

I can vouch for it. I go to your classes just now and you mentioned earlier, you know, some mornings you get up and you think, Oh my gosh, what I thought. I have definitely been there with days where I think, Oh, how are we going to get

Jess: 23:14

we going

Iona: 23:14

Come to a class and leave with a totally different mindset. And I can see it with so many other people as well.

Jess: 23:19

It's hard because people don't allow themselves to think, you know, put myself as a priority here. Once a week, do something for me because we are always doing something for everybody else, all of the time. You know, we're always cooking for somebody else. We're tidying up over somebody else. We're cleaning up after somebody else. We're putting their needs before our needs. So just for an hour a week, come to the class and put yourself first, but that also throughout the week, you should find little pockets of time to prioritize. and don't, think we can set ourselves too much of an expectation, you know, right? I want a whole Saturday to myself and it's not always possible for if you've got other children or the husband works offshore or he shifts or you haven't got that support network. But even if you can get 10 minutes and I always revert back to this 10 minutes, even if you can find 10 minutes where you can just sit and read a book or go 10 minutes. For a walk on your own without children, and that goes with On those days where you feel like, You don't want to do anything. Go, I'm just going to move my body for 10 minutes. Even if you start one of my online workouts or you start somebody else's online and you do minutes 10 minutes is all I need. I can't then stop because it's clearly a day where you need to give into your body, listen to it. You need some rest, but more often than not you'll start with 10 minutes and you'll just do another 10 and then you'll do another 10 and one. You've done 30 minutes, and and you feel great for it. So It's expectations, managing expectations, being realistic, taking the pressure off that it always needs to be perfect. And that goes for walks, that goes for workouts, that goes for playing, that goes for dinner that you cook, you know, drop. And I've dropped all my expectations of being this perfect person because I'm not, I'm never going to be. And that's. absolutely fine by me it's fine by my kids and it's fine by my husband. I'm a lot more relaxed as a person after I dropped

Iona: 25:25

expectations. Mm. How does it work in terms of Time Outdoors as a family, you and your husband and the three kids, because they're all at very different ages and stages, and I'm sure there will be a lot of people listening who are in the same position or hope to be in a similar position in years to come. How do you manage that when they can walk different lengths of time and they have different needs? What's your strategy for managing that as a, as a family? Um, so I, so let's

Jess: 26:02

a walk that we did a couple of weekends ago to Hackley Bay. So it's a two mile walk to the bay and a two mile walk back to two and a half mile walk back. Finn can walk that distance quite comfortably, Um, but that's taken time. And I think, again, we're talking about this quick

Iona: 26:20

fix,

Jess: 26:21

you know, we have been outdoors with him since he was, well, I was walking with him, you know, even at that young age when you're walking outside with them, they're in the carrier, you are already setting the foundations for them. being outside and enjoying the outdoors. So slowly, slowly, slowly it's built up and built up and he can now cover probably seven, eight miles, not every weekend, once in a blue moon and it's over a long day. So he can just walk and he's fine. He carries a rucksack even. And he's fine. So, Simon and I both carry. have an offspray carrier that we put Millie into, because she's the older one, so she's the bigger one. It feels more supportive. She jumps in and out of it, and we allow that. So, We often start the walk with her out of it and let her walk until she's tired and say do you want to go in the carrier now and more often than not she'll say yes or she'll say no I'm happy walking in which case just let her carry on. And then Rosie is in just a more fabric carrier on my back or Simon's back. Um, And because again, she's been used to a carrier because of being the younger one and I had Millie. There's only 20 months between them. She just loves being in the carrier and and again, that won't be for everybody and can't even can't everything to suit everybody's set up and what their children are. All I can say is that just try different things and see what works for you. So that's our set up would be. We'd walk the two miles and then we'd, Um, plan to spend a good hour and a half, two hours with them running around and burning off the energy. Um, so then Millie, more often than not, just wants to jump back in the carrier and we can just make quite quick progress

Iona: 28:09

along. Mm-Hmm.

Jess: 28:11

But I think he ha it doesn't happen overnight and I think that's the key thing. It's going through those walks where, yeah, they'd probably have whinged a lot. and why are we doing But, there will be lots of walks that you will have done that will be getting them ready for the longer walks if you're an outdoor family. Um, and thinking what walks your children enjoy, rather than what walks you might want to go on. And that's hard, you know, because why are we always giving into those children, but our time will come back. And that's what me and Simon keep telling us to ourselves or if have a spare weekend, then we'd go and do something that we really want to do that we can't do with the children. But for Finn, he's a narrow single track kind of boy. So if you've got a big forestry track, it's going to be hard work and we know that. So if you think, a child will find a long forestry track boring, it's likely. So see if you can find narrow trails that weave through the woods and there's little streams maybe to stop off and play poo sticks or throw rocks into the water or you can stop and play hide and seek somewhere. So we do think about it in that sense of how we plan our walks that that would suit. So then Rosie will just sit and just investigate around her, um, and toddle about and Millie again will just tend to follow Finn. and go wherever he goes. Um, but think about the type of walk that you're going on and and how that's going to suit the older one, I would say, because they're the ones who might. Yeah, I don't know. We tend to think about Finn more. We don't ask Millie yet where she wants to walk. We ask Finn where he wants to walk and then Millie comes along with

Iona: 29:56

us. And obviously with all of your kids, you mentioned there that you've been outdoors with them since they were babies. Do you think it's still possible for people who want to create that lifestyle, who have maybe, um, older children, primary age or even older who want to create that lifestyle, but haven't instilled that in their kids already. What's your take on that?

Jess: 30:18

Yeah, no, I definitely think you can, but start small. Don't suddenly go, right, we're going to go and hike up Lochnagar, for example, or we're going to go out for a long day hike. Just start with even spending more time in the garden when perhaps you wouldn't do that or slowing down at the weekend and going outside rather than maybe going to the soft play or going something indoors, go do something outdoors. And I think you can, well, look, I spent time outdoors, but I didn't love real nature and appreciate it until I was 30 something. So you can absolutely, Instead it from whether you're six, 16, 60, you know, there's always a chance to my mum didn't walk really until she retired and now she's hiking the Wales Coastal Trail. So you absolutely can do it. You just have to start small. And again, we go back to that expectations. I think we might see somebody on media that people might look at us and go, how do you do that? You know, my kids just whinge. But yeah, our kids do whinge. I'm not going to put up videos of my children having a tantrum because that's not what I want to show on social media. I will be honest in my post and say it was a bit of a battle today, but they will whinge, but they then get used I think if you just know and manage your expectations that not every walk is going to be perfect, not every walk has to be perfect. Um, and so it all adds up and I think it's just dripping a little bit more in each time rather than trying to like go big straight away because yeah, they're probably going to really struggle with that. So it's a lot goes on beforehand before you see what we get up to. But I think I have shared, it's just it depends if people haven't always followed us, then they might go, well, how did they just suddenly do that? We haven't just suddenly done it at all. Um, and we consciously

Iona: 32:15

work on how

Jess: 32:16

can make things easier and better ourselves so that we hopefully bring up children who want to learn. would like, not want, would like to be in the hills or be outside and clearly it's paying off with Finn saying, don't want to live in a city, I want to live in the countryside, he wants to be a farmer. He thrives kind of environment. but you you don't have to live out in the countryside, just spending more time in your garden, being more observant when you walk down the street, that energy. it's really important that children take their time to see the popping through the pavements, or to pick up that stick that they're really interested in, or to look at the stones, or whatever, you know, whatever captures, because to them, everything is interesting, everything is new. Thank you. You know, for that baby, their on the grass a brand new experience. We don't think of it, but just sitting with them outside on the grass, when they're a little older, the clouds, it cliche, but. I am so for all that, that it makes my life easier because I don't overcomplicate life, I simplify. everything now, um, and I used to massively. I still overcomplicate my workout sometimes on a Tuesday morning. I haven't quite got rid of it. But, in terms of like, play with my kids. I mean, we're going back to something But, even playing with the children, I used to set ups and used to spend time all of that. Actually now, I maybe spend a couple of minutes if I was going to do a set up. and it would be a couple of pots and some water Off you go and see what you do with it. And maybe they'll paint the stones. Maybe they'll throw the stones on the floor. Who knows, but they'll think of something to do with it. And it doesn't need to look pretty. It doesn't need to be complicated. I think the more we like spoon feed the children, the less chance they've got for their imagination to come out and be creative and just, yeah, explore, you know, you can certainly give them a helping hand. Um, but. The more they go on, less of a helping hand they need, need and they these wonderful imaginative, creative children who just love being outdoors and coming up with

Iona: 34:34

all sorts. This episode's sponsor, Out and About, is not only passionate about supporting the well being of families through meaningful time spent outdoors, they're also dedicated to preserving and protecting our planet. Something that we all have a responsibility for when we enjoy the benefits of getting outside. As well as striving to minimise their environmental impact through sustainable, circular business practices, did you know that you can buy their pre loved and restored all terrain buggies on their website? What a fantastic initiative to make Out and About's products available to even more families while looking after our beautiful planet. Check out their website, outnabout. com You said there about, you can see that Finn thrives being outside and being in nature, and you've already mentioned yourself about, you know, even just going out for a ten minute walk, just being outside improves your mental health or your mindset at the time. Yeah. I wanted to ask you about that, you know, how you see that reflected in the kids, in their behavior or their attitude, because I think that's really important. You know, there's a great book that I

Jess: 35:47

am reading at at the minute and I can't which around it. It's either Balanced and Barefoot or barefoot balanced by, to say Angela Hanscom, but I'll check and I'll let know details. And she talks there about, um, It's mental health our children today and how it's been impacted by, you know, screen time, probably by COVID, by just the general busyness of life and we need to strip certain I'm not, I'm not saying take away screen time because I absolutely use screen and things like that. there are some children who will struggle, but being outside can have such a positive impact on. their anxiety levels, their social interactions, um, feeling like like, their stress levels. And if we go outside, like, my children inside, so not Rosie, she's just so laid back, I don't think she notices, but Finn and Millie at seven and three, they clash I like when I'm inside, Unless they're watching the television, I'm playing referee and I hate it, I really don't like it because I feel like then I'm touching back into the mum that I maybe used to be where I'm a little bit more on edge, I'm a little bit more touchy. Whereas if I say, let's get outside, okay, there's the squabbles because they're siblings but they go into their own spaces, they have a lot more breakout space, they can be more independent with what they're playing with. Sometimes they will play together. I'm not, they, more often than not, they don't. I'm not going to paint this pretty picture that my children play together. They don't. They play alongside each other and occasionally play together, but they're still so young that then I wouldn't expect them to play together. So just for them, they're happier children. feel more relaxed they're outside. Um, and I think, I don't think it's the only reason, but apart from this week, my kids And I do think that have an impact. You know, the amount of fresh air that they get will improve sleep. It improves our sleep. If we go out for the day, you know, and spend our day walking or at the beach or whatever, then we sleep better. So that means they sleep better and they're just calmer. You when they're the house, it is. wild sometimes, but then he sent outside that jumping off the sofa that he wants to do, he can jump off a tree stump. He can jump off a rock wall. He can, he can take risks outside and I'm less cautious with with than if I'm inside with it. If he's off the bed, I'm often be careful of that. Be careful of that You'll knock off this, knock off that and then suddenly they become a lot more restricted in what they can do and what they can play. And, um, then they become bored more quickly, and that's not always the case, and Millie will entertain herself in the house a lot better than Finn will, but you take outside and suddenly, the, I don't know, the tree stump could be the pirate ship, it could be the castle, it could be whatever, it can be whatever they want it to be. and I'm a lot less, be careful, I mean we still always say be careful far too many times as a parent probably in a day, but I'm becoming more aware of it. So, um, going to of risky play and And the benefits is perfect for risky play. You know, as a parent, you know when they've actually really, really hurt themselves, and you know what you need to do in those situations. But. The outdoors allows them to take more risks and that can shape who they become as a, as a person. You know, they know they can try something and it's okay. if it If it goes wrong, it's just try again. it does instill a lot of life in them. They're learning all the time outside. I've become a massive fan of the outside because everyone's happier.

Iona: 39:48

I love the way you speak about it. You, you honestly speak so much. eloquently about how the outdoors has impacted you and your kids and your family. It's just, it's so nice to see and you're obviously so passionate about it. Yeah. And you've spoken there about, yeah, the mental health benefits for your children. We've spoken about it for you. Can we speak a little bit about physical health as well? Because that's something that has been a huge factor. in your life that you've shared on social media recently?

Jess: 40:24

Yeah, so I thought I was absolutely fine, um, until two years ago, around this and packing up to go on a camper van trip around France. packing up van and I didn't feel too well, just thought, you know what, got a lot just found out I pregnant with Rosie, um, and it wasn't our the time. worried about how that was going to change our And I was ready to get work suddenly we're going to have this another baby along. Um, might have had family unwell and lots of things. stressed. Um, so we carried up van and it to Tuesday morning. I just was getting ready to go to class actually. And I was my hair and I was like, down. I'm knackered, like what is wrong? But anyway, still just work, the class. and was ridiculously out of breath trying the class. And spoke to a friend you're really out, know. And I her that I was pregnant, maybe it was only, yeah, I said, seven weeks, so I wouldn't have told many people at that point, but was good friend. And she like, you're stressed, you know, go home, cup of tea, chill out. Okay. that's fine. I carried Then I got home feeling really faint. And Simon was like, I you need to phone the doctor and see what's going on just to get out. like, but mum, my hair cut five o'clock, I don't to be going doctor's because I need hair done before we go on holiday, completely vain of me. So, I went the doctor's and they an ECG. said that it didn't look normal. I gone they call atrial is a really fast heart Um, but didn't really think anything of it, but then I think I went panic never had a panic attack before this point. I couldn't breathe. I went clammy. I petrified, really. I didn't know. I started to feel very, very, very unwell. They, got Simon to come. And, uh, get me and take me to the hospital to get checked out. Uh, so I went off the hospital and I had another major panic attack at the hospital. I, sounds extreme I thought I was I couldn't, I couldn't see anything. Just, I, and still clear, quite how unwell I felt at that point. But once down. The lady even said, think you're just stressed like, you probably need So they explained was going on. still, I was in this atrial fibrillation, which wasn't great, but I don't think anything was wrong. Got admitted ward just for further and then the morning a doctor came round. and of the first they have a history sudden death in your family? it hit me like a ton of bricks because one of my greatest fears in is sudden death. And so I was like, nope, nothing. And the phone, Simon was at home, kids had chickenpox, so he couldn't really come into the hospital. they're all these questions about death. like why? wrong with me? Um, anyway, few later they sent me home from hospital just saying that I had a bit of a dysfunction in my heart, but it was fine. We'll see you back after you come home from your holiday. Great, that's fine. Friday morning we packing the van to actually physically get in the van go away still feel great which I was probably ignoring we had a call from the consultant saying, We've picked up cardiomyopathy Now before Simon off the telephone because he ended up knowing the consultant obstetrician um, I'd already googled it And everyone knows don't google things because it said I was gonna die in 10 years. the life expectancy of it? Cure? Massive, massive panic breakdown. What's going on? blah, blah, And the obstetrician was lovely. she said, come into the hospital. Let's talk this through, because this is massive. You've gone from one day being absolutely fine. Like within week being fine suddenly being told you have this thing. So I went in she me down, She talked through, goes, you didn't go on Google. Did you? I said, yeah. And she goes, don't Google it, Jess. It's not bad as it sounds. Right. Okay. So, you you know, we've cause, It's about pregnancy and everything. There's a million questions running through my mind because we've had mums with twin pregnancy with it and they've been fine, you know, don't. a few passed and I'd appointment with the cardiologist on the Tuesday and originally they thought heart function was kind of just mildly impaired, but we on the Tuesday and they decided that it was moderately impaired, so it was getting worse. And that's when the scary conversation started happen, but said, we'll see you back in another week's time and see what's happening with it then. were still continuing the pregnancy, but we hadn't really had many of the scary conversations at that point with cardiologist. after and he said, no, severely, um, impaired, you might want to consider. terminating the pregnancy. It's not something that goes well together. The type of card, there's lots of different cardiopathies, we won't into cardiology chat, but the one that I have Um, it pair well with pregnancy. If known had they wouldn't advised me to be pregnant. At this point they thought I'd had it for my whole life, which at the time we couldn't quite understand, because I'd been a competitive athlete and never had any symptoms or anything. So to me, it's come of the blue. So we'd gone from being this healthy person to suddenly heart that's only working at 30 percent instead of above 50. pregnancy that we don't know we can continue or not. um, talks about having defibrillators fitted, talks about being able to really run again, talks not being to really work again, doing the job that I did a lot in a week. it was a lot to process. It scared the out of me. at that was still in a heart rhythm, so felt really unwell. falling asleep all the They advised have, um, what called cardioversion, they shocked my heart back into normal rhythm. And thankfully it painted a picture. My heart wasn't quite as bad as they thought it was gonna be. It was now in our court whether we wanted to continue with the pregnancy or not. Um, and that a really hard conversation to have um. There a, was elevated risk of going cardiac arrest if I was to deliver the baby. Or perhaps through the pregnancy, my heart became under more pressure, it not respond very well. we decided we were going to terminate the pregnancy um, I had other people to think about. And all just how grateful for the small things in life. So come back round. And in the end we didn't, obviously, because Rosie is here. I bottled it at the minute. Something in my told me that it wasn't as bad as they thought it was going to be it going to be okay. I don't know what, I don't know a maternal instinct. I just knew that it wasn't the right thing do, but I was in, I was prepared that if my heart to get worse, then we would a decision further down the line. we put everything into place of what would and when we would deliver. We were to deliver 30 weeks, I had get past 28 was the goal. Deliver 30, turned out my heart responded. It's not in the way they were expecting and better as I was pregnant, um, which baffled them end, which made me so glad that I that decision not to because I don't how I would have lived with myself. I really worry about that day before I was for the termination, will, I'm always open and honest. I'm really if this is too much, but I went absolutely crazy. just rampage of this so cruel, this is so unkind, like I do this? I can't. can't do this, Simon, but I know I have to because I don't want not be here anymore and live for my two children already am so, grateful for. yeah, it felt like the most unnatural thing to because put it in my court. they told me you have to this, I would have 100 percent done it to protect myself the children. it was, so it was really tough. And I still am probably dealing with lots of different bits of it now, which being outside actually helps. It makes Me remember of, yeah, being grateful. Um. Yeah. So we we delivered Rosie at 37 weeks and could have gone a little bit and were like, we no idea what's happened, what's going on. know, you seem Unfortunately, 12 weeks she arrived, deteriorated again. So clearly weird went on in this pregnancy. Um, But, she saved me, I saved So, I have probably a different bond with her than I do with the other two. We saved each other, with. Yeah, I'm not a maternal person that happened very maternal. Um, and so now I still have restrict I do extent, but they they feel they're finally getting to grips with it. So my heart still doesn't work how it should do. Um, but they think now because I have this extra beat. I just have be careful. So that slowed me down. Um, and that showed me that actually I didn't need to be racing around. I didn't need be running. needed be outside be in fresh air. Um, and when tell you that you might never. Run on the beach with your kids again. I wasn't asking the questions I a again, or on a mile cycle ride again? I was asking run on the beach with my kids and when they say to you? No, you to go really careful um, it makes you realize that actually want to do the little things and so me now it sounds, sorry to but but a in the woods with my kids is And you know, yes, we will get up hills again. yes, I won't run a marathon but I run I do run now, but I have a completely different mindset to it. That you have no idea what's around corner. I, I took far at one that I was trying make every day perfect, or I was trying to make the most of every not realistic. I couldn't do that. And so it was actually a neighbor, I broke down in tears, she says, need to start noticing the small things. You need to start noticing that Millie and Finn played the garden together five minutes minutes rather than looking the bigger picture. I've taken actually into lots different ways now and at my end my day I don't focus on I found hard that again, might sound oh, trying paint this perfect picture but over time taken me time to adjust my mindset to that but now I don't think about what was a disaster because forget the negatives, you know, you can't what's in past, but you can shape what your future looks like, and shape the positives, so, you know, life life changed overnight massively for us. and we're slowly two years. things out again, it kind of forced us into adapting the way we lived our life. You a while we couldn't travel. I was on a travel ban Out of Aberdeenshire, you know, we to kind of twist around to let go to Findhorn because, and said, well make sure a defibrillator nearby. And you know, I'm like, geez, am I really that sick? Yeah, you are the minute. Oh, okay. And you know, there's, I've had to deal a lot things because of It was covid again, not being able travel. And unfortunately my granddad wasn't very well at the time and I travel see him. Um, they wouldn't let me travel until the baby then the baby and I booked my tickets three, three weeks afterwards, which I'd not a C section, but when your grandad's well, that's that's what you do. And he died the day I and I never got to I'm aw, Jess. I'm honestly, I'm so grateful that you felt able to share that. And, Yeah.

Iona: 53:44

I mean, that's just massive. And actually, when we look back on our whole conversation today, and you've mentioned so many times that Being grateful, enjoying the small moments, all of these things. When you think about what you've experienced, what you're still going through, it's no wonder that your perspective on life is so, yeah, it's changed, but it's also just so beautiful, like, the way that you look at life, and look at your kids and family life, I mean, it's You wouldn't wish anyone to go through what you've gone through, but I can see why you try to help people to see, to see the benefits in slowing down and enjoying the smaller moments because you've been forced to see that almost, in a very, very scary way. Yeah. Yeah. And you I guess you don't want other people to have to go through what you've gone through to appreciate life in the way that you try to. put so much pressure on

Jess: 54:55

I think, to be doing everything And we compare ourselves so many other people. I definitely do compare still. and I compare. It's human nature. But yeah, but I'm very good at, Oh, that's great for them. That's not me. you know, and people might listen to me and go, that's great for him. That's not me. But you know, I hope that the people, I imagine the people who listen to someone like you, who's very like a, a great advocate of the outdoors and you know, the type of people who are, maybe do want to slow down. Um, And I, yeah, that's what I always encourage the mums to do. But I keep going back to it, it takes time. And it doesn't. happen overnight. It's taken me time to adjust to the change in our life. And so we learned to appreciate each other more and just actually how fortunate and people like how can you go through what you go and still say you're fortunate but yeah it made me look at how fortunate we were and that we sweated over some small stuff that we didn't need to and we didn't need to race around and it made us, yeah, just completely changed changed our life. You can change if you want to change. It's just small steps.

Iona: 56:13

That is such a beautiful place to end. I normally ask at the end of the podcast, what's one thing that you would really, really like somebody to take away from your episode?

Jess: 56:25

Slow down. Slow down and enjoy what's around Um. yeah, look at your, look at life and see. times happen, you can't get away from things like that, but let's, Christmas I always encourage the mums to slow down at Christmas time. You can think you need to be doing all these things. And a great example of that is we went inter railing Christmas time this year. We were away on Christmas day. We were traveling light. We couldn't take. You know, presents or lots of things. And so we had a very, very small Christmas day. And when Finn came back six, seven months later, they had to write about the best day of their life. And Finn wrote that it was getting glow sticks and balloons on Christmas day in Italy, and that was the best day of his life. And so we think always, we think big, it has to be big and it doesn't, it can be small and we just need to slow down. So even those moments together, they'll often remember. Slow down. my biggest thing because then you'll really see how great life can be Instead of living in the fast lane about and that's what's made me notice is by slowing down and realising just how lucky we

Iona: 57:45

oh thank you so much thank you this has been amazing and

Jess: 57:49

Emotional.

Iona: 57:50

yeah it has

Jess: 57:51

so nice to, to I'm going be able to talk about it actually and I didn't know I was going to get emotional, but it's been lovely to speak about things that. I'm developing, like, a big passion for, um, and would love to help other people to do that. Yeah. We get it right all the time, but we're on the right path. We're not just are, yeah, that's the only, you can only do that. You'll be doing a great job.

Iona: 58:19

I absolutely loved getting to know more about Jess and how she's made it to where she is now. I'm sure you'll agree that her outlook on life is one to encourage and inspire you to make the changes that you want to see reflected in your own day to day. As always, let me know what you thought of this episode over on Instagram where you'll find me as@iona.adventuring You might be wondering what's next for Jess. Well, I highly recommend following her on Instagram@bumpsbairnsandbuggies where she shares so much wonderful content about pre and post natal fitness as well as her day to day outdoor adventures and time in nature. Jess told me that her aim is to continue to create a supportive environment for mums to exercise and of course she'll keep on planning family adventures. Jess hopes to simply keep spending as much time as possible outdoors and enjoying nature while encouraging others to do the same. As a family they'd love to try some cycle touring and bikepacking with the children. By starting off small and working up to do a bigger European trip one day, I'm really excited to watch their progress. As for Jess's heart condition she's on a waiting list for a procedure to try and remove the extra heartbeats that she gets. It's likely that she'll always need medication to manage it and while physically she can do most things, mentally Jess told me that she feels at times she's got a long way to go. She reiterated that getting outside and being busy outdoors is her happy place, and where Jess forgets about all the things that she worries about or is fearful of. A true testament to the nurturing ability of nature. If you're enjoying listening to Nurture With Nature, then please do consider sharing the show with someone you know would love it. It really is the best way for me to reach even more people, to help more of us spend time in nature. Thanks so much as always for supporting the show. I'll see you next time.