Lorna Bray: Rediscovering the outdoors and the healing powers of nature

Nurture with Nature: Rediscovering the Outdoors with Lorna Bray

Join host Iona Andean on the inaugural episode of 'Nurture with Nature' as she delves into the life of her first guest, Lorna Bray. Lorna, a fervent lover of the outdoors known as @gurl_on_the_hill on Instagram, shares her journey from a childhood filled with adventure to reconnecting with nature later in life. The episode touches on Lorna's experiences as a single mother, her passion for the outdoors, and her awe-inspiring adventures, including encounters with grizzly bears and scaling via ferratas. Lorna also discusses the profound impact of nature on mental health, the importance of grounding, and how she fosters a love for the outdoors in her daughter Jessica, who has a rare bone condition. This heartfelt conversation is a testament to the healing power of nature and the incredible bonds formed through shared adventures.

Follow host Iona on Instagram @iona.adventuring to stay connected.

00:00 Welcome to Nurture with Nature
00:22 Introducing Lorna Bray
01:24 Lorna's Outdoor Adventures
03:21 Rediscovering the Outdoors
08:43 Finding Community and Friendship
16:33 Balancing Life and Adventure
19:54 Settling into Highland Life
24:17 Midweek Adventures
26:37 Jessica's Ultra Rare Bone Condition
27:08 Adapting Adventures for Jessica
27:32 Early Adventures and Paddleboarding
28:03 Jessica's Growing Passion for Adventure
29:18 The Healing Power of Nature
30:29 Passing on the Gift of Adventure
31:25 Jessica's Choices Reflect Her Upbringing
37:20 Grounding and Emotional Healing
38:43 The Profound Impact of Nature
47:11 Daily Walks and Stress Management
50:34 Cutting Out the Noise
52:20 Conclusion and Future Adventures

Transcript

Iona: 0:02

Hello and welcome to Nurture with Nature with me, your host, Iona Andean. This is the show that aims to help encourage and inspire you to seek out the many physical and mental health benefits of time outdoors, truly nurturing yourself with nature. My very first guest holds a really special place in my heart, and I already know you're going to love her. Lorna Bray joined my walking group in 2018, and we quickly became firm friends. Over the last six years, we've embarked on countless adventures together. But today is all about her story, and it's one that will resonate with so many. I interviewed her live as my very first guest on my Sunshine Sessions during lockdown, so it only felt right that she'd be my first guest on Nurture With Nature. From navigating life as a single mother, rediscovering a love of the outdoors, to finding her soulmate and relocating to the highlands, Lorna's zest for life is truly contagious. Known as@gurl_on_the_hill on Instagram, Lorna shares her love of the outdoors, mountains, trails, forests, oceans, lochs, fresh air and fun times. She's a fiercely proud mum, wife, supportive friend and an advocate for kindness, fairness and equality. She's an ambassador for Vango Outdoors and a former ambassador for Salomon. Some of her past adventures include scaling the curved ridge in Glencoe, canoeing the 100km River Spey descent, hiking the Cottonwood Trail in Yukon, complete with a run in with a grizzly bear of course, and completing a Via Ferrata high above Chamonix. You could easily mistake Lorna for a full time outdoor adventurer, but she has worked extremely hard in her career, currently holding down a position as the Creative Communications Manager at Education Scotland, the education improvement agency for the Scottish Government. She really does seem to have it all, but she's just like the rest of us, navigating life's constant ups and downs, and she speaks candidly about a poignant moment when the power of nature really forced her to reflect on previously suppressed emotions. We touch on her daughter's ultra rare condition and how Lorna is determined to make sure time in nature continues to play a part in her life Remember, this is all new to me, so it won't be perfect. I'll be the first to admit that. But, if this conversation brings a smile to your face or a tear to your eye, then please do let me know over on Instagram. Send this episode to someone you think will enjoy it, and let's continue to grow a community of like minded people truly embracing the ability to nurture with nature. Okay, let's do it! Enjoy the show! Lorna, we have known each other for such a long time now.

Lorna: 2:49

Yes, we have, yes.

Iona: 2:51

And I'm so excited to speak to you on the podcast. I just know that you have so much to say about the outdoors, adventure, nature, well being, the whole lot

Lorna: 3:02

Iona, it's you and me, we have so much to say about everything, for hours hours on end. I hope your listeners have got at least six hours for this conversation.

Iona: 3:13

This is so true. We'll see how we go.

Lorna: 3:15

Okay, let's do

Iona: 3:16

Let's get into it. Let's dive in and speak about what adventure means to you. How did it become part of your life, the outdoors?

Lorna: 3:23

So, I was going to jump in and say adventure has always been part of my life, but it's not. I grew up adventuring, which I feel is an absolute privilege. So my mum and dad met when they were in their teens and my dad was really into hiking and climbing. And then of course, new in a relationship, my mum became into hiking and climbing and they joined the Ochills mountaineering club. Then 10 years later, me and my sister came along and we were a very outdoorsy family. Weekends were spent hiking and camping. I remember as a kid, we always used to go away with all the other parents and kids from the climbing club. And we used to call ourselves the climbing club kids which was hilarious. We're all grown up now. We still call ourselves the climbing club kids. And yeah, we just used to all take off and it was just so much fun. That's what I remember from it. It was fun. Just, you know, scaling mountains and just out for hikes and things all the time. So yeah, so it was always a really, really big part of my life as a kid, which I loved because back then it was Called, you know, you were a tomboy, but of course now it's not. I was a girl who just really loved the outdoors, which was just wonderful and I absolutely loved it then. Then I became a teenager and I hated it. Well, I didn't hate it. I didn't hate it. I was really sporty when I was a teenager. But that kind of, Going out for a walk with Mum and Dad, I could not think of anything worse, honest to God. So it just became something that was just like, oh, do I have to go for a walk and do we have to do this? And, you know, I've just been a rebellious teenager not wanting to do it. Yeah, so that was kind of my childhood and into my teenage years and I probably lost it in my, kind of, mid twenties to, early to mid thirties. Where life just took over, you know I had my daughter Jessica, and then it was when Jessica was probably about two or three years old, I found myself actually, all of a sudden, I had every other weekend to myself. I think it was my friend, Said to me, what are you doing this weekend? And I didn't have anything planned because when you've got a baby and when you've got a wee one, they are your life. You dedicate your entire self, your entire being to them. That's what I did with Jessica. And she said, what are you doing tomorrow? And I was like, nothing. She said, do you want to climb Ben Lomond? I was like, yeah, I want to climb a mountain. So we climbed Ben Lomond and about halfway up, I think, I don't know if it was the endorphins or what, but Iona, my god, it just all came rushing back to me and I was just like why did I give this up? I just felt incredible and I felt for the first time in a very, very long time, like myself, and That I was doing something for me, and it just opened up this whole other door, window, the whole house, of adventuring, and what that means, and yeah, it means an awful lot to me, sounds incredibly cheesy but it did make me find myself again as an adult, and who I truly am as a person, and that's what it means to me.

Iona: 6:50

What age were you when that happened?

Lorna: 6:54

Thirty three?

Iona: 6:55

And how long had it been since you'd been hiking or out walking in the hills?

Lorna: 7:02

I mean, a long time. I went, I did a couple of Munros with my dad when I was kind of in my early twenties. But again, I just don't think I was ready. You know, I think, I think for me, life brought perspective and that kind of life experience brought perspective. And it was almost like, you know, when, when I had Jessica, it was really funny because I feel like, honestly, looking back now, so I had Jessica when I was. 31 I think. And I feel like after I had her it was, it was so grounding. It's such a grounding experience having a wee one that I felt like my bubble burst. My life bubble burst. And when I say that, it was like what I expected life should be, you know, so I was just coasting along and then I had Jessica and it was just like I just feel like there's so much more to this life that I want but I just couldn't understand what. I wanted more for me and I wanted more for Jessica. I was hungry for it but I just, I couldn't understand and I couldn't process what that might be until I was on that mountain that day and I was outside nature again and that's when I was like yes, that is it. That's what it is.

Iona: 8:19

That sounds incredible. It sounds so profound as well that you had this almost a moment of clarity.

Lorna: 8:25

Yeah, it was. It was lovely.

Iona: 8:27

And see, when you're speaking about it just now, I can just see your whole face light up. You can just see that the outdoors brings you alive. You have so much energy around it, so much passion for it. And that is, that's really wonderful.

Lorna: 8:43

Yeah. I think as well, It must have only been a couple of years after that that you and I met, wasn't it? It must have been about three or four years after that when I first kind of went up Ben Lomond again. And I, you know, I kind of, I joined your group and I had been on the lookout for a hiking group, but everyone, every hiking group that I had found was like really established you know, tended to be kind of a lot of older people, which is absolutely fine. But I wanted to find friendships and I wanted to find my people, if that makes sense. So I've got a group, a really close group of friends that I've had for a long time that I'm really close to and I'm really grateful to have them in my life. But I really wanted to find other people to kind of share adventuring with and that social side, because that's what I grew up with, that's what I grew up seeing, you know, so now that I had found this adventuring again, I wanted that social side, I wanted to find, you know when you say like you find your tribe, you find your people and I don't know how I stumbled across your Facebook page, I can't remember. how I came across it. I don't know if somebody had recommended it or if I had just seen it. I honestly can't remember but I joined it and I think you and I had reached out and I think it wasn't long after you started Iona's Adventures and I was like oh my gosh perfect and then you and I were kind of chatty and it was that weekend that you had organised the camp up a t Glenmore In the Highlands, which is funny to think because I live there now. Well, I live, I live in the Highlands near there. But of course I came up that weekend and I wasn't going to come up because I could barely afford the petrol to get there, but I scraped it together and Got a load of my dad's old kit from the garage, an old tent, a really old sleeping bag which was

Iona: 10:33

was going to freeze

Lorna: 10:34

to death that night because it turned, it was snow, was it,

Iona: 10:37

snowed that night. It was October. Yeah, it was October and we woke up to snow in the morning, didn't we? And I don't think anybody had anticipated it. No, we hadn't. And it was freezing. cold. But you know

Lorna: 10:49

know what? It made for a really good hike that day because remember we went up Meall a' Bhuachaille and we ended up afterwards I think we went into the cafe to warm up and everything and that weekend I was, I was really, really nervous about going that weekend because I didn't know anyone. And then I arrived and you gave me a massive big cuddle when I met you because that was the first time I'd met you and I was like, yep. Firm friends for life.

Iona: 11:12

us.

Lorna: 11:12

I met so many people that weekend that I am firm friends with now. And I'm so glad I pushed myself because what I've found actually, especially in the adventuring world, is if you do push yourself and you say yes to more things, so many more opportunities happen. So meeting, people meeting you, meeting those friendships. I mean, I met you and look at all the amazing things that we've done together, you know, and it's lovely to share that with people and kind of like nurture those friendships and things. And we all come alive in the outdoors the most as well, which is just lovely.

Iona: 11:47

I think there's a lot to be said about meeting new friends as an adult because it's so, so difficult.

Lorna: 11:54

difficult, isn't it?

Iona: 11:55

Because You know, you might have friendships from school or from uni or from your workplace or whatever you've got going on in your life But quite often like you were saying there you were looking for those connections where you could share adventures with people and You were a single mum at the time and you didn't have a partner to you know kind of go out and go on specific adventures with. And I think so many people are in the same situation. Whether you're a parent, whether you're in a relationship, it doesn't really matter. Finding friends as an adult can be really, really tricky. And putting yourself out there when you feel like everybody else is already established. I mean, I think so many people are in the same position where we're looking to make those new connections and, and sometimes, you know, So yeah, I think it's really important to find new hobbies or new interests but also, like yourself, reconnect with parts of your past that you've kind of lost somewhere along the way. And it's really difficult to put yourself out there and to meet new people and I always feel really proud when people do that. People come along to group walks or group events, especially if it's something that I've organized. I just feel so proud of people doing that on their own because I know it takes a huge amount of courage and it can be such, such a nerve wracking time and you did it and you're a testament to how powerful that can

Lorna: 13:16

Yeah, and I know that so many people listening to this That maybe came on that camping weekend, or have come on another hike, or have pushed themselves to do that with other people. Because, trust me everybody will come across as confident in things, but maybe people that have come across as confident have been on several group hikes. Whereas they have still had to push themselves to go on that first one. And it's absolutely worth it, but you're right. As an adult, it's really difficult to make friends, so if you can find common ground in something that you're really passionate about, they're really passionate about, it's just like you always have something to talk about and you always have something to do. And I was listening to another podcast, of course I'm going to listen to this podcast most, but I was listening to another podcast that said that that, You know, the happiest people in this world have purpose, and purpose makes you happy. And I think, for me certainly, you know, looking back I had the purpose of being a mum. But that was, Jessica, was for me as well, but it's really, really difficult, as you know, being a parent. But having that purpose, purely for me It was just like I had a purpose at the weekends that I had off, you know, every other weekend. I had people that I could see, I had places to go, you know, and I never sleep the night before a mountain ever or a big adventure. I just get so excited and have everything laid out, my flat lay and everything. And then it's like alarm goes off up at silly o'clock and get ready and it's like the road trip part absolutely love that part I always have a playlist or I have my music going and it's always something upbeat where I'm just getting myself ready for the day And then you get there and then you meet everyone and it's like the excitement and all a bit anxious about it, especially if it's maybe a something that's a bit tough. And then, you know, it's the conversation as well. So if you're with people and you've got something to work out, you know, it might be off to offload and you might not even have anything to offload. It might just be just getting out and getting away. And for me, I always find that that brings you know, such good perspective. And when you share a mountain day with someone, you know, you connect with them, you really connect with them, you connect with yourself, you connect with nature. And when you're celebrating the summit, so you're celebrating success, you have done something that you're really proud of. And it's, you know, giving you that purpose. And then you come down and you say, Absolutely mucky. Exhausted. Totally needing a shower. Probably starving. And you get home and you have a nice hot shower. There was one time actually I was so cold and I was just like, covered in mud. I had a shower and then I had a

Iona: 16:00

because I really

Lorna: 16:02

to do that. And then I would make myself a really nice dinner. Just look through all my photos and whatever and it was just the end of such a wonderful day and you wake up the next day feeling I used to call it a hill hangover because I would wake up be like oh my god am I going to be able to walk down these stairs because that was so tough on my legs yesterday but but yeah it just it just brings a real purpose and when you can share that with people it just it's just wonderful it makes such a difference.

Iona: 16:29

Oh you put it so well I love that. How would you say adventure has continued to be a part of your life since then?

Lorna: 16:40

Yeah, so, it's, it's weird because in some ways I feel like my adventuring has It's leveled up and in many ways it's not and let me explain why. So I got married a couple of years ago to a wonderful man called Ollie. Two years ago, actually, two years yesterday now that we're recording this and Ollie is also an adventurer. He loves the outdoors. He has done ever since he was a kid and he kind of discovered it more when he was just He was, you know, a teenager, that was his thing when he was a teenager and he ever since the age of, he was telling me the other day actually, I don't know, he was really young, something like 17 or 18 or something, maybe a bit older actually, every summer he would go on a really big expedition somewhere and he trains as a teacher so of course he always had like his six, seven weeks off in the summer so Goodness knows, some of the things he's done he's cycled across America three times in three different directions, and he's gone off to do the Dolomites loads of times When we got married, we started doing that in summer and for me, that was levelling up. So you know, for example, our honeymoon, we went over and we did the North Coast trail, which is on Vancouver Island. And then we did the Bowdoin Lake. And BC and it's like a chain of lakes. It's like a kind of phenomenon because they're all chain, there's like 12 lakes or something like that, that you paddle by canoe. So these were like massive adventures. Like when we did the North coast trail, I was basically head to toe in mud. It was a baptism of fire. And there was a lot of the time where I was just like, Oh my God, why am I doing this? You know, that way where you're just like, when I'm used to obviously the Scottish mountains and I'm used to adventuring at that level. I feel like it totally leveled up and a lot of that was really, really scary but I did it, you know, I pushed myself to do it and I felt really, really comfortable in that space because I was with somebody that was really experienced You know, and with, with the canoe as well. So that was our honeymoon. And then the next year, the next summer, we went away for three weeks and we went back to Canada. We went to Yukon this time and I absolutely fell in love with the Yukon. Loved it. And we did the Cottonwood Trail. Which was a four night, five day hike in the middle of nowhere, and we were the only people on the trail. And, you know, we came face to face with a grizzly at one point, which was really scary. But I had watched the video of what you have to do when you come across a bear, which is hilarious because I think it's from the 1980s. I think it's still the same one. So it's all these like different new experiences and it's, you know, it's lovely and it's really nice that I've, got somebody to share that with as well. So. I think within that as well, it was almost like, you know, I'm doing these things because that's what Ollie's always done. And I really, really like adventuring, so I want to do that as well. And what I've realised now, after three years, is that actually, I've learned an awful lot within that as well for myself, like the resilience that it takes to do that. It, you know, you surprise yourself sometimes when you push yourself to do these things. So it's leveled up in many ways in that respect, but then at the same time so it's been three years ago this summer we'll have moved up to the Cairngorms. And I absolutely love it in the Highlands. It's just, I mean, it's just amazing. Incredible. It took me a while to settle in, which really, really surprised me because it's the highlands. We live in the Cairngorms National Park. We've got the mountains on our doorstep. I look out the window in the morning and I can see the mountains. You know, we've got the loch just like a couple of minutes away in the car you 20 minute walk. It's just beautiful and gorgeous. I just couldn't understand why I wasn't settling in. And it kind of hit me quite recently. It's like, well, I feel like I moved there. And I was on holiday and never came home. You know that way, because we would always come to the highlands to go on holiday, or I would always travel up north to go hiking or adventuring. But I moved there and I'm not saying none of that happened, but it didn't happen as often as maybe when like Ollie and I were just, you know, dating

Iona: 21:05

Because for anybody who doesn't know, Ollie lived in the Cairngorms before you met.

Lorna: 21:10

I relocated. So he had lived here for about 12 years before, before I relocated. But there was a lot of back and forth about where we were going to live. But we loved the house. Jessica and I loved the house and we let her see the local school, which like was an absolutely fantastic little primary school. She's in the high school now. But even she said, no, I want to, I want to move up here, mum. So for me, that was it. Cause I wanted to make sure that she was comfortable.

Iona: 21:34

Hmm. Yeah, you had to take her into consideration as well. It wasn't just

Lorna: 21:37

Exactly.

Iona: 21:38

changing your lifestyle and uprooting your whole life. It was about family life too. Yes.

Lorna: 21:43

And actually, I think it was more about that than me. Cause. You know, that's what happens. You just want to make sure that your family are comfortable and that you're settled. And I wanted to make sure of that for Jessica. So when we moved up here and we went from whenever we visited, we were paddle boarding, we were hiking, we were out on the bikes, and then all of a sudden that didn't happen every single day. Of course, because you're settling in. to a new home, Jessica settling into a new school, you know, you're getting used to married life, everything like that. And I was like, I felt so guilty. I, when I was like, I've moved all the way up here, I should be doing this and I should be doing that. And I wasn't. And I was like that, why is it not happening? And it's like, cause life's happening. Cause it's not every other weekend when you know, you've got the freedom to do all of that. But. I'm delighted to say that three years on I feel like I'm finding that balance a bit more and, life is different because it is the three of us now. It's not just me and Jessica, but I feel like now I'm really starting to settle into it, which is really lovely because I'm not saying I lost myself in it all a wee bit, but I find change really difficult, I do, and I think this has been such a massive change, every aspect of my life, and it's taken me until probably now to feel that bit more settled here.

Iona: 23:11

think that's really easy for everyone to underestimate how, how hard change can be, even when, like you say, it was such a positive, exciting, happy change that you were making, but it's so much to cope with, isn't it? Yeah. And when it's not just you, it's your daughter, and then like you say, a new marriage, when you take all of these things into consideration, that's a huge amount to deal with, and You then also had this added pressure of feeling like you should be out hiking, out exploring, adventuring in this area that you were now so lucky to live in. And yeah, I think it's important to appreciate how difficult that can be and that you do need a period of adjustment and, and time to settle and just time to find the balance, like you say, and It sounds like you've definitely done that now, which is amazing to see and to hear. It

Lorna: 24:09

feels nice, it does. And also, I thought about what's going to work for me. Because I work full time as well, so I work five days a week until recently. And I compressed my hours, so I have a Wednesday off now, which is wonderful, because it means actually I have time and space just for me, because Jessica's in school. So between the hours of eight and four on a Wednesday. You know, that's time for me, which is amazing because I still obviously work longer days the other four days. And it means that we can do wonderful things like we are doing today. Moray Coastal Trail.

Iona: 24:41

I know, we've just finished hiking a wee section of it today before recording, haven't we?

Lorna: 24:45

We have, yeah. So we're doing it backwards, back to front. So we did Cullen to Buckie and today we did Buckie to Spey Bay and then we're just gonna figure it out from there and yeah so we decided we wanted to complete it, didn't we?

Iona: 25:01

And it's just great when you've got a Wednesday off. And when my little boy is with my husband, we get to just have this wonderful little mid week adventure. And I feel like I see you more now than when we both lived in the central belt. Yeah,

Lorna: 25:17

Yeah, because actually we're probably farther away from each other than we were down there. But the central point is the Moray Coast, isn't it, for us? So it's like an, about an hour and a half each. Or maybe a wee bit less than that. But it's, it's just lovely that we can do that. I'm so grateful. And we're sitting in the sunshine just now. Absolutely sweltering, aren't

Iona: 25:36

It's lovely. It's glorious.

Lorna: 25:38

I know.

Iona: 25:39

So obviously you can't speak for Jessica, but what does she think of adventuring and this new life that you've created in the Highlands, surrounded by the outdoors and adventure opportunities?

Lorna: 25:52

Yeah, so Jessica is in first year at school and she is a teenager. Therefore, Friendships are life and Music is life to her just now, these are the things that she loves and it's really interesting you should ask that because when we first moved to the Highlands, you know, because we were establishing as a new family, we would go out on a walk, for example, and Right at the point where Jessica's probably exactly what I was around about kind of like 15, 16 years old. It was like, why are you making me do this? This is the worst thing in the world. I want to be out with my friends or I want to be at home listening to music, but instead you're making me walk round this walk for no reason. And yeah, I find it really interesting because Jessica has an what's called an ultra rare bone condition. And that does affect her. So it affects her whole body and it means that she, she can be in quite a lot of pain. She goes through a lot of surgeries and things like that. Especially with her, growing, it grows with her and it stops when she stops growing. So we're almost at skeletal maturity when she's 14 and when that happens then there maybe won't be as many surgeries which is wonderful. So what has that meant for our adventuring? It's meant that we have had to adapt not only what we do but our thinking and how we approach things as well. So because Jessica can get pretty sore at times when she's sore we tend to not do an awful lot. And when I say not do an awful lot, what I mean is, you know, we'll not go out on big hikes. So, for example you know, when, even when she was a toddler, so she was diagnosed when she was two. So, I feel like you know, I still took her out adventuring, I would kind of adapt it to make sure that she was comfortable. So when I lived. Down in the Central Bell, whenever I went out with the paddleboard along the canal, she would come with me and she'd sit on the front and we'd meet up with friends we met up together to do it as well. We did. Which was just so much fun. And she loved that. She just loved sitting on the paddleboard. And she would always say this was the cutest thing when she was wee I think when she was about four or five or something somebody asked her what she wanted to do when she was older I want to climb the big mountains like mummy and I was like, oh my god my heart Do you know that way it could have exploded with pride when she said that because she's obviously She's picking up on the fact that I'm really passionate about it and she's You know, it's like, that's what mummy does. That's what mummy does when she sees that. And she used to always, giggle about Gurl on the Hill on Instagram. She's like, is that you on Instagram again, mum? And I was like, no. But, honestly, she's got such a sharp sense of humour. So we would adapt and now that she is getting that wee bit older, there's times where, you know, she's not able to go out hiking so a few years ago we went up the, there's like a hill at the back of the house that we went up and she was great because there was other kids there. But the next couple of days she had to rest, eh, to make sure that she was okay, so she has to be careful. But what I've found as well is that I've realised it's not necessarily about scaling mountains and, you know, getting her to do all these massive things, because that's not going to work for her and she's not going to enjoy them. But, like, even the other day, you know, she wasn't very well, she was off school for a few days because she had a horrible virus, and I, I got her up off the couch and she was like, Oh, you know, teenager slump. She's like, what are you making me do, mum? Come out to the back garden, take off your socks and shoes. She's like, why? Let's walk in the grass and let's look at the plants. And honestly, her face, it was hilarious. She's just, she just, I swear to goodness I think she thought I had three heads when I was doing this and I was like, this is grounding Jessica and it is, it's physically grounding just to walk on the grass, just get outside, look at the plants, be in nature and I said to her, this will, this will, This will help you. This will help you feel better. And she didn't believe me. And within about three or four minutes, she was playing Tig with me in the garden, which she's gone from on a slump on the couch to this. And it's because we got outside and we got into the air and I know it was just the back garden, but it got her away from the spiral of this horrible virus that she had and that's all she could manage and that was fine. So I find it really interesting that everything comes around again, because I talked about earlier how I was doing it. brought up adventuring with my parents and then I lost it as a teenager and then, you know, I was really sporty but then in my kind of, mid twenties to mid thirties I totally lost it until I found it again and I honestly believe that that influence of being brought up outsides like that is huge. I mean it's absolutely massive and those feelings That came back to me. They came back to me because they were there. They were instilled in me as a child. My parents gave me that, which is just an incredible gift to give. And yes, we were doing a lot of mountains and yes, we were doing all this stuff. And no, Jessica probably couldn't manage that. But she's a determined wee soul, but I think that I've instilled that in her as a toddler, because, you know, I was out with her all the time, and we were doing these wee adventures all the time when she was younger. So and A couple of weeks ago she went on her S1 camp and again I was so proud of this because she had choices and all of the things that she chose were the things that we did when she was younger, so paddle boarding sailing, actually she picked that as well, canoeing, kayak, these are all the things that I absolutely love. And she reminded me as well, so for my 40th birthday. I've always wanted to learn how to sail. And I took a week off work and mum and dad looked after Jessica and I went off to the Ionian Sea to learn how to sail and get my competent crew qualification. And I said to Jessica before I went, I wrote her a postcard and I said to her, always follow your dreams. Just like Mummy's doing with this. Oh my God, I'm going to get emotional about this because I was like, I want her to follow her dreams. I want her to find that in herself and I want her to always do that. And it just, she reminded me about that when she chose her, her sailing. She said, Mummy, remember that time? Not Mummy anymore. I'm just Mum

Iona: 32:29

now. She was

Lorna: 32:30

like, Mum, remember that time you went sailing? I was like, yeah. She says, well, I'm going to try it on Loch Morlich. And I was like. And there we go. That is it. That is what I have instilled in her. And even, even if she is not out there climbing mountains and adventuring all the time, that's a gift that I have given her that I've, that's been passed on from my parents, that I know that she's going to use that because that, that grounding thing that we did the other day, I know that she'll remember that. And I know that she'll take that into her adulthood. And that that is my adventure gift to her.

Iona: 33:06

Oh my goodness. Oh, that made me feel emotional there. Just because, well, I mean, it'll hopefully strike a chord with a lot of people, but I know you so well, and I know Jessica, and I know a lot of the things that you guys have been through, and just life in general, it's tough sometimes. And to see you speak about her, and to speak about the way that she, is finding herself, as a teenager, which is such a tricky time. I mean, we've all been through that stage and it's really hard at the best of times, isn't it? And there's so much to navigate, but to see her making these like bold, courageous, adventurous choices, largely based on a life that you showed her as a child, that's just so powerful. And I can tell it's, it's not something that you forced on her by any means. And obviously you've had to think about the way that you adapt and overcome for her because of the things that she faces on a daily basis. But just as a child in general, If it's overbearing or too forced, it's not enjoyable. It doesn't create a positive, a positive response. Whereas the way that you have introduced Jessica to the outdoors and adventure has obviously just had this amazing effect on her. And even if she doesn't choose that all the time, especially in these teenage

Lorna: 34:36

Yep.

Iona: 34:37

for her S1 school camp, she's made those choices. And it's just such a, a beautiful reflection on you as a parent. And I just think that's amazing.

Lorna: 34:48

thank you.

Iona: 34:50

It's just amazing to think that We can have such an effect on our children

Lorna: 34:57

We do. It's

Iona: 34:58

parents. It

Lorna: 34:59

It really is. We've always known that, but I don't think you really see it an awful lot of the time or appreciate it. And it's when these little things start to happen as they grow and you start to notice the choices that they're making. And, and that you can say, you know, that that was something that you didn't push them towards. But I honestly think as well that with Jessica. One of the things that I always wanted to do, you know how I talked earlier about how my bubble burst and all of a sudden I knew that I wanted more and when I say more, I wanted more out of life. I had this passion for life I just, I wanted to feel fulfilled. I wanted to, you know, I just wanted to live. And I'm not saying I hadn't before that point, of course I had, but I don't know, there's just something about, for me anyway, having a baby, I just, the rose tinted glasses came off and all of a sudden I could see life and I just wanted to find that passion I could see that she's noticing how I'm acting because she's like a little sponge at that age where she's taking it in. And what I was always really aware of is that she's looking at her mum, and her mum is going out and following her dreams. And that wasn't just for me, that was for her too, because I, I could see her watching me do that, and that is so important because I want her to grow up. To be strong and passionate and independent and to find her tribe. We were talking about this the other day. And about finding things that she enjoys and that she loves. And it's not necessarily things that her friends might love, but to have the courage and the confidence to say, actually I don't like that. Or, You know, that, that's quite fun. And it might be that she's 35 years of age and finds something that she loves. It doesn't matter as long as she follows that path and as long as she's true to herself. That's all that matters.

Iona: 37:03

Mm-Hmm. I think that's all that we can want for our children is to. Follow their passions and be their true self. Because when you've lived a life where, you know, there are times where you probably haven't, you don't want your children to follow in your footsteps that way. Can I ask you, when you suggested to Jessica to take off your socks and shoes and step outside and feel the ground and the grass beneath your feet, you obviously knew that was going to help her in that moment, lift her out of that fog that she was in. Is that because that's something that you've experienced? Is that how you find a bit of peace and tranquility in times of stress or everyday life?

Lorna: 37:45

Yes, so I know that standing on the ground bare feet physically grounds you. I can't explain the science. There are many people that can explain the science and if you google it but I'm not going to pretend that I'm an expert when it comes to that. But all I know is that when I go outside and water the plants in the evening, I do it in bare feet and I try to make sure that I get outside with my bare feet. There's just something really nice about getting out in the garden with your bare feet anyway. But it is, it feels really grounding and just taking that time out from like a busy day. you know what? Even if it's just five minutes, when I'm hanging up a washing, I do it in my bare feet, and I always just feel like that physically grounds you. But I mean, nature is just incredible. Nature is healing and nature has a really incredible, mysterious way of just calming you down, but also. pulling things out of you and what I mean by that is I'll very quickly share briefly the story about when I was in the Yukon last year and we had done the Cottonwood Trail which was really difficult but really fun. We had a couple of nights in White Horse, which is the capital, and then we paddled in the canoe from from White Horse to Dawson City. And it was 750 kilometers in seven and a half days, which was a lot. Now for Mr. Bray, my husband, that is. It's normal because he likes to, you know, have big trips like that and he's been used to paddling since he was you know, a teenager, a young teenager. Because I'm new to it, I'm relatively new to it, of about two or three years. So, for me, the most that I had done was the, the Spey descent. So, from Loch Inch to Spey Bay, where we are just now. As a hundred kilometres, and we usually do that over three days if we're doing that, which is also great fun. So it was long days. It was big 12 hour days and it was exhausting and I think on day, I think it was day four, we were paddling along and we were, we were in the middle of nature. I mean we were living and breathing nature. We were on the water. We were camping at the side of the river. We were in the middle of the Yukon and there's just like no people around. You obviously passed some other paddlers on the water now and again but, you know, on the whole you might not see people for days. So you're immersed in nature is probably the best way to put it and on about day five, I mean I was absolutely knackered and honestly that trip broke me probably emotionally and physically in a good way because, On day four, I was so tired and we're paddling along, paddling along and I started getting like thoughts about things that have happened in the past and I was like, what's going on? Why is that bubbling up? And so, pushed it down, kept going, but it just, you've got a lot of time to yourself when you're in a canoe, and sure, me and Ollie talk all the time, and we have a giggle and we have a laugh, but there's a lot of time where all you need to do is sit and paddle. Nothing else. You've not got dinners to make. You've not got children to organise. You've not got work to do. You just sit and you breathe and you paddle. And when you have a lot of time to yourself, things will start coming up and I couldn't understand why things kept bubbling up to the surface. And I felt all the emotions. I felt anger and I felt frustration and I just felt sad about some of the stuff and I'm like, you know, these are really things that I thought that I had dealt with I've worked really hard on not pushing things down and I think it was like that had happened and then the next morning I woke up and I just got out the tent and I just broke down and I went over to Ollie and he's like, what, what's happened, what's wrong? And I told him and I said, I'm just, all these horrible things that, you know, have happened in the past that I've had to deal with in the past that have caused so much hurt and anxiety. They're just, they're just. Bubbling up and coming out. And he said a line that we always use now when these types of things happen and he's like get it all out and the line he used was leave it all in the Yukon. Which was great because then I realised why am I pushing this down, nature is pulling this out of me. And I know it sounds really, really deep and profound but that's what was happening to me.

Iona: 42:17

It was deep

Lorna: 42:18

I was, I was, I was bloody exhausted. I had, you know, all this paddling but because of that it just pulled it all out of me. And it was difficult. It was really hard to cope with. And that whole day I kind of sat with it and I didn't push it down. I sat with it and I just felt it. I felt it all that day in the paddle. To the point where I actually lay back and I'm like, I'm just going to have a rest. And I fell fast asleep with my paddle across my body because there's obviously bags behind me. And I slept for about two hours. An hour and a half when Ollie was paddling down the river Yukon and we passed a family on the side of the river and Ollie was like, she's not dead, she's just having a bit of a

Iona: 42:57

sleep.

Lorna: 42:58

I did not know a thing. So I woke up, paddled the rest of the day and then see that next morning Iona, I felt amazing. Like honestly, I felt incredible and I just had the best time the rest of that trip. And I just, I did, I left it in the Yukon. All, all that stuff that was obviously still there. So nature has this incredible way of just drawing things out of you, whether you want to or not. And when you immerse yourself in nature and just let it take over, for me, that's what happens. So I know the profound effect and healing effect that it can have. So even though it was five minutes taking Jessica outside onto the grass to let her walk about for five minutes, I knew that that was going to have a healing effect on her, even for five minutes, and it was tiny. And it worked. It didn't take away her virus, obviously. We still had to, like, get her medication for that. But just letting her emotionally feel quite grounded and not overwhelmed with it. And it worked.

Iona: 44:03

What an experience. Oh my goodness. Have you ever experienced something like that

Lorna: 44:07

Never. Never. Wow.

Iona: 44:09

Wow.

Lorna: 44:09

Absolutely not. It's always been endorphins and it's always been, you know, good happy times, you know, you know what we're like, we just laugh the whole time when we're out hiking and we have a great time. But I think it was just because I was really pushing my body and I was tired and I was, you know, physically and emotionally exhausted to the point where that happened and I just, I just had to give in to it and I just had to sit with it and let it happen until it was out the other side.

Iona: 44:36

I love the thought of you sitting in the canoe and barely seeing another living soul and just having the time to think about all of these thoughts that were bubbling to the surface. We spoke about this off mic before recording today about how there's so many distractions in our everyday lives, whether you work at a screen. You have virtually 24 hour access to your phone, and At the touch of a button there's just always something to be scrolling through or looking at, and there are constant distractions there if you let them in, and it's really hard not to in everyday life, whereas, okay, it sounds a bit extreme, you were in the Yukon, and now you're in the Yukon. Maybe you don't necessarily need to go as far as that to get away from those everyday distractions, but for you having that experience of completely removing yourself from everyday life and all of the tiny little things that mount up and can distract you from what you're really feeling, what you're really experiencing and yeah, that just sounds extremely profound and just like a real turning point for so many things that you had obviously felt you dealt with but. we're maybe still suppressing to a certain point.

Lorna: 45:51

And I sometimes wonder if it's because, you know, When we talk about mindfulness, it's just like we were talking about there, it's not letting the everyday things come in and it's about focusing on one thing and all I was focusing on that whole time was paddling and looking out for like deadheads, so things sticking out of the water I'm so focused on just that. Nothing else, just that. So it's almost a form of mindfulness and being surrounded by nature and, and, you know, maybe that's why it all started bubbling up. I don't know, but all I know is that it happened and I just had to go with it and honestly, I cannot tell you how good I felt the next day. It's like life is amazing! That

Iona: 46:35

That sounds so incredible. for sharing that because I imagine it's the kind of thing that not a lot of people have potentially experienced. And I wonder if there is a way of us channeling that and tapping into that without having to travel halfway around the

Lorna: 46:51

Is there

Iona: 46:53

anything that you've found for dealing with everyday stress and just everything that goes on in life in general? Is there a way that you cope with that or how do you recognize when you maybe do need a little bit of time out and time to, to de-stress

Lorna: 47:08

Yeah, absolutely. So, just simply. leave your house and go for a walk. So I work from home 99 percent of the time and like everyone else I get caught up in work. So my half hour lunch break is taken up by, I really need to get round to these emails, I really need to organise that, but the work will still keep coming. You know, and you do, you organise yourself, and you have your deadlines, but when you meet those deadlines, the next deadline's gonna come, so sometimes I'm really bad for it, but just leaving the house and going for a walk, and for me, I'm quite lucky that we've got, like, a few really nice walks at the back, and we're not talking about massive walks, I'm talking about, like, 20 minutes, half an hour. But what I do is I just go into the woods and I love to smell the fresh air and just go for a walk. Sometimes put my headphones on, listen to a podcast or listen to some, some music. Sometimes I don't, but even just getting out for a 15, 20 minute walk you know, every day if I can, I do notice a change, a difference in my mood and a difference in my sleep and my stress levels and how I cope with life and everyday things. But also looking at, looking at your life as well and think, looking at your routine. So I was finding that with Jessica's condition, it actually comes with a lot of kind of life admin. So there's a lot of appointments to organize and there's a lot of appointments to go to. You know, I've got a long list of, specialists that we see all the time. As well as everything else that, we need to organize with life that we need to do. You know, it can be so busy. And I. thought to myself, right, what is a better way of doing this? And I'm obviously very, very lucky that I work for an employer where, you know, they do prioritise flexible working. So when I approached them with the proposal of working four days condensed or compressed and having a Wednesday off, it means that my Wednesday, I can allocate that for life admin. And getting out and having time in the outdoors. So when I'm feeling stressed or it's like, oh my gosh, I've got a million things to do here. At work now, all I need to do is focus on work and then I can almost park the other stuff because I think I'll deal with that on Wednesday. And that's what I've been doing. And I know that maybe not everybody's in the position they can do that, but I guess the message that I'm saying is there's always a way you can always find a way, you can always find a way of prioritizing your time for you Even if that is a 15 minute walk a day or looking at your life and how it works and, and Having time to get outside, have time to stand in the grass of the garden, have time to connect with people that are passionate about the outdoors as well and doing it that way.

Iona: 49:57

Make time for you. We are all so, so bad at doing that, aren't we? Oh yeah. And we know how, how much we need it.

Lorna: 50:06

Yeah, it's so important. It's essential.

Iona: 50:10

I was going to ask, what would you like people to take away from this episode with you? You've maybe covered some of it there, but is there anything in particular that, if Somebody's listened to this, you think, I really just want them to remember this part.

Lorna: 50:26

Probably something that we haven't talked about. on this podcast that you and I had talked about earlier was cutting out the noise. So when I say that, live your life for you and adventure for you. So whatever works for you. So for example, for me, having a child and a toddler and now a teenager, the way that we adventure is best for us, and we adapt it for us, and then my adventuring, you know, I adapt for my lifestyle and what I want to do as well. And I love to share my photos on Instagram, but sometimes everybody can be a little bit guilty of seeing other people's photos and think, oh my god, they're scaling every mountain, and they're out every single day doing something. And, and, 99 percent of the time it is not the case. That is a tiny, tiny snippet, that's like a millisecond snapshot of their day and what they choose to put up on Instagram, for example, or on social media. And the other, the rest of the time they're just doing life. And they're probably struggling with things like everybody else, so you and I were talking about the fact that it's just so important just to move that noise aside and don't feel pressured to do things in a certain way. You know, if it's the way that it's done on Instagram, it doesn't mean to say it's the way that you have to do it. Find your own way, find your own path I

Iona: 51:57

I love that. I think that's perfect, and that is a wonderful way to end this episode with you. Lorna, thank you so much

Lorna: 52:06

you're

Iona: 52:07

for chatting. We chat all the time. You

Lorna: 52:09

know that we're going to talk for another six hours after this, don't you?

Iona: 52:17

Well, what a way to kickstart nurture with nature. I'm sure you'll agree that Lorna's love of the outdoors is contagious. Every time I speak to her, I feel so energized and motivated to spend time outdoors. Since recording that episode, I now make a point of going out to the garden barefoot to hang up the washing. It's such a small, simple thing that can be built into your everyday life to help us connect that tiny bit more with nature. And I love it. So thank you, Lorna. If you enjoyed this episode then make sure to follow Lorna on Instagram@gurl_on_the_hill as she shares beautiful insights into fitting the outdoors into everyday life and I know she has a seriously exciting trip coming up. In September Lorna will be hiking the GR20 in Corsica over 14 days. Which is said to be Europe's toughest trail. She also let me into a little secret that there's plans in the pipeline next year for a sea kayaking expedition in the Prince William Sound in Alaska. There really is no stopping her. Before you go, I have a huge favour to ask. I've spent months working on launching this podcast and juggling around family life with no financial support or sponsorship from brands. A huge amount of my time, effort and money goes into a project like this and I've effectively taught myself how to produce, record, edit and market the podcast. I'm absolutely loving every second of it and I'd be so grateful if you could help me make it a success by tagging me on Instagram, sharing this with a friend and subscribing so that you don't miss future episodes. You'll find me on Instagram as@iona.Adventuring. I really hope you feel inspired and motivated to use Lorna's powerful words to allow yourself a little more time to feel nurtured with nature. I'll see you next time.